But there’s one thing I’ve decided to doing, in the hopes of helping my daughter cultivate a healthy view of herself, which I shared in a comment on Rachel’s blog. Women have been told their bodies are something to be ashamed of, something dangerous, something to be kept under lock and key — most recently, by an evangelical purity culture which compares girls who’ve lost their virginity to cups of water contaminated by someone else’s spit.I’ve stopped making jokes about how I’m going to invest in a shotgun collection when my daughter starts dating. A bit of fatherly bravado masking the fact that we’re in over our heads when it comes to raising daughters? Of course I want to protect my daughter from those who would treat her like an object. As a dad, I get that it's tricky riding the line between "it's up to me to raise strong, confident women who make smart, informed, decisions for themselves that are meant to please them more than they please me and that sometimes I'll have to be the asshole to her to do this," and "my daughter is my property and I know what thoughts go through the mind of a 15-year-old and I'll kill you." But it is a line that dads need to learn and it's important that these archaic ideas of fatherhood die a quick death. We show you that as a woman you're as strong as a man and that you set out the path for who you do or do not fall in love with, not us. I don't have to talk to them about their sex lives to support their choices. These shirts may be purchased in jest but I'm not sure a five-year-old fully understands that. Why suggest we need to shorten the leash on our female children while giving out even more to our male children who we stupidly assume are out to get our girls. We don't have a very appealing acronym for our t-shirt business but we feel pretty good about the messages we're trying to send out girls. We'll show you our relationship and all the good thing and bad things that come with it and you know that you're free to do the same if that's what you choose. You don't have to be "Dear Daughter, I hope you have awesome sex" to show that you support the autonomy of your little girls. Make no mistake: the thought of my daughter dating someone someday terrifies me.It’s all fun and games until your date’s dad insists on showing you his gun collection. Search [email protected] screen and (min-width:768px) and (max-width:999px).
But at face value, a shirt that reads Dads Against Daughters Dating is horrible for a number of reasons: This shirt comes in many forms. If you want to wear a shirt that supports your daughter's future why not wear one of the It Starts With You: #Im AMale Model campaign that speaks to ending violence against women? Make sure they know they're strong enough to make choices and that those choices have weight of their own, even before they've come to dear dad asking for his blessing. A time to spend with our families doing things we often end up fighting over, a time to complain about how hot it is (only if we're talking about the humidity of course), and a time to watch men on the beach walk around with their young daughters proudly wearing their D. I expect "I know what went on in my head when I was a young man," is the first line of defence a D. Maybe it was purchased on a lark or maybe it's a family joke thing where they all look at it and laugh and want to burn the shirt at a campfire. shirt without the obvious other suggestion of Dads Against Boys Who Must Want To Assault Daughters? Stop treating your daughters like meandering princess lost in the woods. I also know there's a high probability it was his partner or someone close to him who bought this shirt in some back alley joke t-shirt box who bought him said shirt. It's a real thing too, I saw these shirts for myself with my own left-leaning eyes. Because the idea of my daughter's virginity is too precious isn't the same as I want my daughter to be safe. A little bit of sex positivity goes a long way to making our daughters feel comfortable about talking to us about any relationships they do pursue. I'm also willing to give other parents the benefit of the doubt that they're also doing their best to raise young men and women who will be able to enter safe, consensual relationships even at a young age. That line reads to me as "I knew I wanted to have sex all the time and a young girl can't expect that if we're dating, I shouldn't be allowed to act out those urges." That, dear D.